Thursday, February 21, 2013

Strangest Places in the USA by Brian E.



There are plenty of strange places in the United States. Either through funny names, or simply the strangeness of the place, a bracket of 8 funny places has been setup, in order to determine what the strangest place in the world is.
The first contender is Centralia, Pennsylvania. This town, while previously being a normal town, has a mine underneath in that has been on fire for more than 50 years. The second contender is Bubbly Creek, which is a branch of the Chicago River that was contaminated with the blood from the early 20th century meatpacking industry; the river still bubbles today. The third is the Florence Y’all Water Tower, which is a water tower with the words “Florence Y’all” written on it. The fourth is Willard Park, which contains the world’s largest stamp: “Free Stamp”, which measures over 25 feet on each edge.

The fifth contender is the Greater Green River Intergalactic Spaceport, which, surprisingly, is simply an airport. The sixth contender is Mary Ellis’s grave, which is found in the middle of the parking lot of a movie theater. The seventh is Nitt Witt Ridge, which is a house in California made out of garbage. The final contender is actually two towns: Beatosu and Goblu, which were on Michigan’s state map for two years, despite being completely imaginary.
The bracket pitted Centralia against the Florence Y’all Water Tower, Bubbly Creek against Nitt Witt ridge, Mary Ellis’s grave against Willard Park, and the Greater Green River Intergalactic Spaceport against Beatosu and Goblu. After much deliberation, the four places that advanced to the next round were Centralia, Bubbly Creek, Mary Ellis’s grave, and the Greater Green River Intergalactic Spaceport.
In the next round, Centralia was matched against Mary Ellis’s grave, and Bubbly Creek against the Greater Green River Intergalactic Spaceport. Both battles were very close, containing much hostility, but Centralia soon pulled ahead, as did the Greater Green River Intergalactic Spaceport. Both carried great momentum into the final round, and the tensions were high.
Soon, it was time for the final round to commence. The war was highly contentious; the tide turned every few minutes, and it was possible to sense that violence was close. In the end, the margin of victory for Centralia was by less than one percent, but there was enough of a difference that a runoff was not necessary.
It is now official that Centralia is the strangest place in the United States, with the Greater Green River Intergalactic Spaceport. However, the battle for third place was still in the air, with Bubbly Creek pitted against Mary Ellis’s Grave. However, the battle wasn’t close, with Bubbly Creek taking third place easily. Therefore, the final placement for strangest place in the U.S. is
3rd place: Bubbly Creek
2nd place: Greater Green River Intergalactic Spaceport
1st place: Centralia, Pennsylvania

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