Ask Puffer

Ask Puffer: Student Advice Column

Who should I ask to Prom?
o This is a question most everybody is asking once Prom season comes
around. All I can give as advice would be to ask someone you think
you’d have fun with. Asking someone you don’t know very well can
be super awkward, so I recommend a close friend or someone you’re
genuinely interested in. Prom will be a lot more fun if you’re looking
forward to it rather than stressing out about it.

Dance season makes me really stressed. How do I keep sane?
o I completely understand the angst around dance season. It’s
very stressful when you’re trying to decide who to ask or waiting
wondering if you’ll be asked. I think it’s important to distract yourself
with other fun activities and to not get caught up in all the drama. Do
whatever makes you happy and focus on that rather than what’s going
on at school. Or, if you’re set on asking one person or having them ask
you, go for it and make it happen! The dance will be a lot more fun if
you’re excited to go.

Aren't seniors supposed to enjoy second semester?! How do I balance what seems like a never-ending stream of projects and fun activities (like sports games)?
           The key to balancing lots of schoolwork with outside activities is time management. You need to be able to think ahead about your schedule and sort out time for friends and work. For example, say there’s a lacrosse game and your project isn’t due for another few days. Do yourself a favor and go hang out with your friends so you don’t burn out on work, but be sure to save time for academic work in following days to be able to complete your project. By giving yourself time to relax and to work, you’ll be able to keep on top of your work without overloading yourself. That way you’ll be sure to have an enjoyable senior year!

·      There are too many expectations to meet. They are expectations that I set up, my friends set up, my family set up and my teachers set up and it feels like I need to live up to them all. How do I stay sane in trying to please everyone? If I don't fulfill someone's expectations then I feel like I'm letting them down which then affects me.
o   It’s important to focus on your own desires and goals.  You can only do so much and should focus your efforts on what you want to do.  However, you are right to recognize that other people in your life have expectations for you too.  At the same time, you must remember that you can never please everyone; especially if you spread yourself too thin focusing on what everyone else wants.  Use your best judgment to choose and focus on whatever expectations you feel are healthy for you to fulfill or you want to achieve.  You have to stay true to yourself, so don’t worry about whatever expectations you don’t feel are right for you.  To avoid letting the other person down, explain your situation and maybe offer up another solution (one that doesn’t involve you or one that you want to do).  Never feel obligated to do what someone else wants, unless you want to too.

·      What should I do when somebody makes mean rumors about me and spreads them to her friends?

  •  The way I see it, you have two options: ignore the rumors or confront the friend.  By simply ignoring whatever mean things she says, you become the stronger person.  Over time, she’ll get tired of making fun of you and you’ll both move on.  If the rumors really get to you, it might be best to tell her how you feel.  It’s not easy, but you’d be taking charge of the situation.  If you don’t feel comfortable with either option, I suggest you talk to an adult you trust to seek guidance.
·      What should I do if I haven’t been asked to Semi yet?

  • o   I know it can suck when you haven’t gotten asked to Semi, especially if you really wanted to go with somebody.  However, I’ve found that a lot of people seem to have more fun going in a group of friends.  That way there’s a lot less pressure than going with a date and you still get to have a fun night out with your closest pals.  If you had your heart set on going with somebody though, then I suggest you go ahead and ask him or her yourself! This dance isn’t strictly Sadie Hawkins, so really anybody can ask anybody.  By taking charge of the situation, you’ll feel much more confident in yourself and relieved of any stress you’re feeling now.
·      How do I not get friend-zoned by my date that I’m taking to Semi?

  •  First off, I think it’s important to remember you can’t force anything between you and your Semi date.  By putting too much pressure on Semi being a “date”, you put a lot of stress on yourself to make the evening perfect.  Just be friendly and talkative with your date.  If there’s a spark and you two hit it off, that’s great! If not, then you two are probably better off as friends.
·      OES dances are no fun without grinding.  What do I do for 3 hours at Semi? I hear poker gets boring after a couple hours.

  •  The best way to enjoy your time at Semi is by hanging out with friends.  Whether it’s by dancing or playing card games, the dance will go by fastest if you’re having fun with your buds.  Your friends are your friends for a reason and I figure that, no matter what you do at Semi, it will be 100% more fun if you’re with your friends.  Also, if you’re still upset about the “no grinding” rule, remember there are a ton of other ways to dance. Maybe these’ll give you some inspiration:

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